When Our Gifts Grow from Chaos
Like many of you, I grew up as a sensitive, sometimes emotional, deep feeling
child. I also had an imagination that took me places - especially when I needed it
With a natural curiosity and connection with the mystical and spiritual realm
beginning in childhood - I often found my own intuitive ways of communicating
with Spirit and working with energy. I felt energy viscerally within various
environments. I believed I had healing powers. I was eager to understand and
experience the different religions and esoteric practices of others. And I spoke in
‘made up’ languages to steer negativity away and attune to the supportive unseen
forces in my life.
Even as a child, I knew it was a gift - something that was mine and
that no one could take away.
Although many of these gifts were inherently a part of me, the chaos of the
environment I grew up in heightened my senses and left me to figure them out on
my own. My earliest years were unpredictable, uncertain, and fast changing. There was also a lot of love and adventure! But these early years are so incredibly
formative for a child.
It’s said that in our first 7 years of life we’re greatly shaped by our environment
and all that we learn within it. Our nervous system forms during this time, our
understanding of relationships and love begin to take shape, and beliefs about
ourselves and who we are in the world (micro to macro) takes root. Not to mention
the possibility of past life and generational conditions at play.
How Does a Sensitive Human Navigate It All?
Doing inner child shadow work has been a core theme of my healing journey. I’ve
had to especially tend to my 3-13 years old self. She was angry, sad, untrusting,
and stuck in self-loathing. She was also very sweet, loving, bold, funny, and
It breaks my heart as an adult woman today to look back and realize what this
little girl was carrying within her, and how it shaped her/my journey in life. I can’t help but think how much struggle could have been spared if I learned to appreciate and embody my power and voice early on.
However, at some point we must realize that it’s up to us to let go of
blame and shame, own our path forward, and do what it takes to
heal and integrate the abandoned pieces.
Trauma can 100% be an innovator; it can unveil our strengths and innate skills
amidst our sensitivities. Perhaps it’s less about moving on and more about
moving forward - where our old story informs us but does not define us as we take ownership of this moment and the future we are designing.
Get Support and Create from the Muck
None of my healing journey has been linear. Yet as pieces fall into place because
of the work I continually do I feel more empowered by, trusting of, and connected
with myself and life.
Over the years, I’ve worked with the support of various therapeutic, spiritual, and
creative practices and guides. I’ve devoted myself to healing and shifting old codes into new more aligned codes, while letting go of what is not mine to hold so
that I can feel more at home in MY core essence.
This journey is also where The Moon Deck was born from! As I wrote the cards and guidebook years ago, the voices that came through were so tender, wise, and loving. They spoke to younger versions of myself and to all who I imagined would use this oracle set. I literally saw The Moon Deck touching lives all over the world for healing, integration, and true self-trust and love. And we are still on this mission today.
As my own healing and growth progresses, my inner child has
demanded to be seen, permitted to exist, and loved. To truly move forward, I’ve come to the realization that I need to give the love and understanding to her now that she needed back then for embodied integration.
The creation of The Moon Deck has supported me as much as it has supported
you. She speaks to, connects with, and supports our inner child, and the many layers and lessons we have navigated in life. It’s an incredible tool for honest healing, self-discovery, intuitive strength, deeper trust, and so much more.
Our Self-Worth and Beliefs About Ourself
Our self-worth and subconscious beliefs about ourselves are a lens in which we see and experience life through. Growing up in some chaos and instability heightened my senses in unique ways that have become a strength today. Yet this noise also overwhelmed and diminished my trust in myself.
Instead of feeling like I could be big and bold in my expression, I was often told to
‘stop being so sensitive’, or ‘stop making it about yourself’. There was little room
for the big tears or my big need for love and validation during very real human
challenges. But as energy tends to be, that energy eventually found a way to express itself, and it wasn’t always good. (I imagine many of you can relate!)
Because I learned at a young age to store away what I was feeling inside and
distrust my own voice, many decentering inner voices of judgement and self-doubt anchored into my being and continued for many years. Which for this little
developing mind at the time equaled ‘I am not enough’, ‘I am too much’ or ‘I am
Reclaim Your Magical AF Power
Although I’ve come a very long way since then, I’m still a work in progress. My
unique energetic sensibilities from my earliest years have kept me safe and guided. It’s still an essential part of my design today. However, I must admit that
sometimes the more wrapped up in adulting I get, the more fear and worry
SO, I’m saying this here, because we are 100% capable of shaping our energy and beliefs (feel free to join along): “I am reclaiming this magical and powerful af
part of me. I am embodying and integrating it into my being fully. I trust my magnetism and insight. And so it is, right now, in this moment.”
Imagine if the entire world was told not to feel less, deny these parts of us, or
numb out - but instead to move through the feeling and create an unshakeable
and loving relationship with oneself IN this lifetime.
Life has daily material that keeps revealing opportunities to recognize where we
can love and accept ourselves even more. What’s showing up for you today?
So remember, feeling deeply is a superpower. Your sensitive intuitive nature is a gift craving for your embrace, love, and understanding.
Now is the time to cultivate trust in yourself and the wisdom in your bones, to
take the rich soil of your life’s journey and transform it into creative nectar, and to lovingly embrace all parts of you from every age so that you can truly feel at home in your body.
If you feel this blog post will help a loved one or has helped you, be sure to bookmark this page and share far and wide.
With great love and respect to you and your inner littles,