When Our Gifts Grow from Chaos
I grew up as a highly sensitive and emotional child amidst a lot of change and uncertainty. I also had an imagination that took me places - especially when I needed it most.
With a natural curiosity and deep connection to the mystical and spiritual realm from a young age, I intuitively turned to this connection for comfort and perspective. I would even 'make up' my own spirit-language to steer negativity away and connect with supportive unseen forces when I needed guidance or protection, 'felt energy' within certain environments or situations, believed I had healing powers, and was eager to understand and experience the various religions and esoteric practices of others. All of this started as a child.
Call it "imagination" or "coping" - but I believe tough times awaken our innate powers, and we can learn to feel integrated rather than overwhelmed.
Although many of these gifts were inherently a part of me, the chaos of the
environment I grew up in heightened my senses and left me to figure them out on
my own. My earliest years were unpredictable, uncertain, and fast-changing. There was also a lot of love and adventure! But these early years are so incredibly
formative for a child and has carved a path for me that I am still on today.
It’s said that in our first 7 years of life we’re greatly shaped by our environment and all that we learn within it. Our nervous system forms during this time, our understanding of relationships and love begins to take shape, and beliefs about ourselves and who we are in the world (micro to macro) take root. Not to mention the possibility of past life and generational conditions at play.
How Does a Sensitive Human Navigate It All?
Doing inner child shadow work has been a core theme of my healing journey. I’ve
had to especially tend to my 3-13-year-old self. She was angry, sad, untrusting,
and stuck in self-loathing. She was also very sweet, loving, bold, funny, magical, and curious.
It breaks my heart as an adult woman today to look back and realize what this
little girl was carrying within her, and how it shaped her/my journey in life. I can’t help but think how much struggle could have been spared if I learned to appreciate and embody my power and voice early on. I'm sure you can relate.
Trauma can 100% be an innovator; it can unveil our strengths and innate skills
amidst our sensitivities. Perhaps it’s less about moving on and more about
moving forward - where our old story informs us but does not define us as we take ownership of this moment and the future we are designing.
At some point, we must realize that it’s up to us to let go of blame and shame, own our path forward, and do what it takes to heal and integrate the abandoned pieces.
Get Support and Create from the Muck
Healing is not linear. As pieces fall into place because of the work you do consistently, you will feel more empowered by, trusting of, and connected with your authentic self and all that is possible in your life.
Over the years, I’ve worked with the support of various therapeutic, spiritual, and
creative practices and guides. I’ve devoted myself to healing and shifting old codes into new more aligned codes. All while letting go of what is not mine to hold so
that I can feel more at home in MY core essence.
This journey is also where The Moon Deck was born! As I wrote the cards and guidebook years ago, the voices that came through were so tender, wise, and loving. They spoke to younger versions of myself and to all who I imagined would use this oracle set. I saw The Moon Deck touching lives all over the world for healing, integration, and true self-trust and love. And we are still on this mission today.
As my own healing and growth progresses, my inner child has
demanded to be seen, permitted to exist, and loved through thick and thin.
To truly move forward, I’ve come to the realization that I need to give the love and understanding to her now that she needed back then for embodied integration.
The creation of The Moon Deck has supported me as much as it has supported
you. She speaks to, connects with, and supports the inner child in us all. Including the many layers and lessons we each have to navigate in life as modern mystics.
It’s an incredible tool for honest healing, self-discovery, intuitive strength, deeper trust, and so much more.
Our Self-Worth and Beliefs About Ourself
Our self-worth and subconscious beliefs about ourselves are a lens through which we see and experience life. Growing up in some chaos and instability heightened my senses in unique ways that have become a strength today. Yet this noise also overwhelmed and diminished my trust in myself.
Instead of feeling like I could be honest and authentic in my expression when needed, I was often told to ‘stop being so sensitive’, or ‘stop making it about yourself’. There was little room for the big tears or my big need for love and validation during what were very real human challenges for anyone, let alone a child. Although the intention was never to hurt me, this naturally impacts one's mental and emotional health.
Since energy needs to move, this pent-up energy eventually found a way to express itself, and it wasn’t always good. I learned at a young age to store away what I was feeling inside and to distrust my own voice. Some de-centering inner voices of judgement and self-doubt took root and continued for many years. Which for this little developing mind at the time equaled ‘I am not enough’, ‘I am too much’ or ‘I am unlovable’.
Reclaim Your Magical AF Power
Although I’ve come a very long way since then, I’m still a work in progress. My
unique energetic sensibilities from my earliest years have kept me safe and guided. It’s an essential part of my design today that I'm still learning to fully trust and embody.
REPEAT AFTER ME: “I am reclaiming my magic and power! I am embodying and integrating it into my being fully. I trust my magnetism and insight. I trust my intutive gifts. And so it is, right now, in this moment. Thank you!"
We're 100% capable of shaping our energy and beliefs as we move forward.
Imagine if the entire world was truly in love, in acceptance, and allowed forgiveness of oneself. Life has daily material that keeps revealing opportunities to recognize where we can love and accept ourselves even more.
What’s showing up for you today?
Remember, feeling deeply is a superpower. Your sensitive intuitive nature is a gift craving your embrace, love, and understanding.
Now is the time to cultivate trust in yourself and the wisdom in your bones, to allow healing to be empowering, to take the rich soil of your life’s journey and transform it into creative nectar, and to lovingly embrace all parts of you at every age.
If you feel this blog post will help a loved one or has helped you, be sure to bookmark this page and share far and wide.
With great love and respect to you and your inner littles,